Max: Box 2

Max: Box 1

Well, my attempt to sell out having been somewhat underwhelming, it seems time to resume old habits. One of the things that has attracted people to this blog has been my postings of Pericle Giovannetti’s Max drawings, so I thought I’d put up another ‘story’ from ‘The Penguin Max’. Prepare for another week of slow-motion slapstick, hamster-style, this time concerning the perils of carpentry.

Bird-spreads 8

This is the final spread I’ll be posting from ‘Where the Birdies is’. From now on my attempts to sell out will be confined to the sidebar. The drawings are ‘Wren’s egg’ and ‘Pecking order’ from December 2007 and January 2008.

Bird-spreads 7

Here are two parrots from the book ‘Anomalous Instances of Ornithological Hybridism’, a scholarly work of avian punditry by the distinguished academic Professor Gert Lummox.
Fig.1 is ‘Excalibird’ and represents the visual correlation between sword and tail, the title referring to Excalibur, the sword of Arthur, and thus to the correlation between the Sword in the Stone and the probable origin of the word Parrot - Perrot, diminutive of the name Pierre in early C16th Dialect French, or Peter in English, from the Greek petros - stone.
Fig.2 is called ‘Plaititudes’, pointing up a relationship between the Macaw’s plaited wings and tail and the word Platitude, an overused moral statement, thus correlating with the parrot’s tendency to repeat phrases at random, with no understanding of their meaning.
NB. This information is implicit in the book and is spelled out here merely for those unused to the depth of intellectual sophistication in academic discourse. The book may be enjoyed as entertainment without knowledge of the foregoing facts.

Bird-spreads 6

Another spread from ‘The Bird Way’, a mystical guide to reaching nirvana by sitting on the fence and eating insects. or your money back. Here we see two drawings (it’s a visual guide), one called ‘A bird in the hand’ and the other named ‘Top hat and tail feathers’, from September and October 2007. These titles are approximate and shouldn’t be relied on in the event of litigation. A generous donation at this site will ensure your happiness, in this ten minutes and the next (allow 6-8 days for delivery).

Bird-spreads 5

A couple of Christmasy-type doings from my book: ‘Birds Do the Funniest Things’: ‘Hot and Cold’ and “Yin Yang Merrily on High”, both from the Christmasy-type month of December in 2007. So long ago, and yet here they are - fresh from the freezer.

Bird-spreads 4

Here’s another spread from the worst-seller: ‘Where the Birdies is’. In it can be seen ‘Nightfever’ from March 2008, and ‘Bathtime’, also from March 2008.

Bird-spreads 3

The latest bulletin from Lulu.com tells me that I’ve now sold 3 copies of 'Where the Birdies is' but the sales ranking hasn’t changed! Some mistake, surely? No-one told me selling out was so complicated. I thought I’d be off to the private jet shop by now.
These two drawnwings are ‘Flying Scot’ and ‘Homing pigeon’, both from October 2007.
Apologies to anyone who’s seen all this rubbish before. There are just a few more of these spreads, then normal service will be resumed; or what passes for normal service these days. Tch.
Did I mention my book? You can buy it here.

Bird-spreads 2

My total sales figures have now gone up to two (2) and my Lulu Sales Rank is 217796, which is more than I could ever have hoped for. Thank you to the buyers, both of whom are friends.
Here is another spread from the book (which you can buy here!), featuring ‘Flamingo flamenco’ from November 16th and ‘In cahoots’ from November 23rd, both 2007. Click for larger view, or lean back for smaller view.

Bird-spreads 1

I can't help thinking that blogs are reaching rather deeply into the barrel when they start repeating old stuff, but, in the interests of selling out, I thought I'd post some spreads from 'Where the Birdies is' to show how the old stuff looks in a new context. And who can be bothered to click through archives. You can click on this (if you can be bothered) to get a larger view - or you can buy the book and see it on paper! (I realise the clicking bit is cheaper).
These two drawings are 'Brooding' and 'Petshop Quartet' from 3rd February and 30th January 2008 respectively (note the chronic illogical order). More to follow.

Plan C: Sell out...

Happy Birthday-before-yesterday to Non-Stick Plans! It's now 3 years (and 2 days) old. It will be going to school soon - don't they grow up fast?
Anyway, to mark the occasion-before-yesterday, in my usual on-the-ball style, I'm doing what people asked me to do 2 years (and 2 days) ago, which is to put some of the now 500+ drawings on this blog into book form.
My first, experimental, effort in this direction could loosely be described as a book - it's more of a glorified pamphlet - and it's up on Lulu now. It's called 'Where the Birdies is' and is a sort of ornithillogical anthology of 60 birdie-themed drawings (plus the one above on the cover and a little one on the half-title page) from this very blog.
Being Lulu and print-on-demand it's neither perfectly printed (partly due to my habit of using gradients for backgrounds) nor cheap. Am I doing a good job of selling it to you? It's paperback, 7.5" (19cm) square, 64 pages, in full colour (apart from the black and white bits). It even has a contents page, like a proper book. It's only available on Lulu for now.
I'd appreciate it if someone would buy a copy. You can get it here, here, or here. (It doesn't really matter which one you click on as they all go to the same link). Think of it as a charity donation.
It would be nice to have some feedback too (even it's to complain about being ripped off) so I can improve on it with the next one, if there is a next one. Of course, if no-one buys it I shall go back to the monastery.

(Plans A, and B).

Native species

I had a more interesting drawing planned for today but it involves Vikings and boats and they're both giving me trouble, so this will have to do for now.

By the way, I'm just waiting for a proof copy to arrive for a little experiment I've been working on, and if it's ok there may be something to buy on Lulu. Imagine that - Nonstick sells out. Birds are involved. Watch the skies, but keep an eye on your wallet.

Storyteller

In
Arabian
Nights

(it's a
book)

(a good
one).

Cognic band

For
narrower
thinking.

A Cavelier hattitude

Anybody
think of
an ostrich
pun?

(If you've
got
nothing
better
to do).

Secondary target

In season

Poseidon

S on G bird

A new Mac and CS4
now give me no
excuse not to drag
this blog up from the
pit of apathy into
which it has sunk.
So a new start is
imminent.
The Spring has
sprung (almost),
The Grass is ris.
I wonder where the
birdies is.
Here's one.

The gardening of Eden

Adam and Eve
grow their own
apple tree.

(A bad workman
blames his tools)

Dressed to kill

...or cook,
or make cutbacks,
or something.

Captain's log

Medical update: I've had my x-ray, in the Palace of Illness. Results unknown, as yet, but I seem to have avoided catching the lurgy. I don't like hospitals.

I keep promising more stuff on this blog, but it hasn't materialised. I think that's because stuff doesn't actually materialise by itself; I've got to produce it by working, rather than promising. If only they'd taught me that in wizard school.

Birds of a tether

Stork's inbirdanity to Stork.

My pleurisy has resurfaced for the third time, so after this I'm hoping it will drown (or I will). I'm supposed to be going for an x-ray but my local hospital is in the grip of a vomiting bug epidemic and has virtually shut down. Much as I enjoy vomiting it doesn't really mix with chest pains.

I'm sorry this blog is turning into a medical bulletin. I used to scoff at my elderly relatives who seemed to get together just so they could discuss their ailments. Now I can join in, and eat all the biscuits.

In need of a jump start

My pleurisy came back with a vengeance after the last post, in spite of vast amounts of antibiotics. After more vast amounts of antibiotics, it seems to have receded again, apart from the odd twinge. Now I just have to find some energy from somewhere and go out and catch some flies.
Advice on pleurisy: don't get it - it will only make you ill.

Rare find on eBay no.4

Ancient Greek
Olympic hurdle
(signs of wear)
$7001.

(nos 1, 2, & 3)

Lack of activity here has lately been caused by an attack of pleurisy, which has been less than pleasant. However a double dose of antibiotics seems to have repelled boarders and no ransom was paid.
Consequently this ship may be back on the high seas fairly soon, though still without much of a sense of direction. I feel I ought to say Happy New Year, though it's a bit late.

King of the leaves

I showed this to
two people who
couldn't see
anything in it
beyond a bug
on a leaf.

Is it me, or is it
them?

It's all in the mind...

... but it's
the thought
that counts.

Perhaps
Santa will
bring me
some new
thoughts
so I can
get this
blog going
again.

Happy
Christmas!

Penny Gwyn

Sister of
Nell Gwyn.