Eastbourne is a fading seaside town on the South coast of England. Its main attraction is Beachy Head, a favourite spot for suicides. For years it’s hosted a women’s grass-court tennis tournament in the week before Wimbledon, but this year it was opened up to men to avoid going bankrupt. It’s also a holiday destination for old people and, as the summer starts to kick in, you can see coachloads of them getting icecream, fish-and-chips and sunburn.
One such old person is my mother, who goes every year with a friend (by train rather than coach) to watch the tennis. This year her friend wasn’t feeling up to it so I was the substitute and, for four days, became an old person (not a great stretch).
Four days, two of them watching a marathon 17 hours of tennis, you would think wouldn’t give me much time to take holiday snaps, but in fact I managed to take 89. As it turns out they’re probably the most boring pictures I’ve ever taken - and now I’m going to bore you with a selection of the most boring ones.
This one was taken from the hotel window, which was painted shut to stop guests from venturing out onto the crumbling balcony. It was taken at about 7.30 in the morning (breakfast was at 8). Apart from the bumper-to-bumper cars, which seemed to flow through all night, nothing was happening – even the seagulls were still asleep. The sun on the water and those wispy clouds made it all seem rather wonderful, so I snapped it through the grubby glass.